Baghead

Oh… another follower?

I suppose you’re wantin’ to become a man of the cloth?

Well, drop your offerin’ in the pile.

Though some say nothin’ is the best gift of all.

...

Now take a sit, mate. Relax.

And leave me alone.

That’s the… uh, path to enlight-ency.

Ah... imagine this.

Nowhere to go… no one to be…

Just let life pass on by.

Go ahead. Try it.

Eh, over there.

Anywhere but here.

Did you not hear me?

Go sit and be quiet.

You see I’m… cool now.

Wherever I go… these assholes follow.

If only there was another Baghead… or somethin’

I was just takin’ the piss with this whole… thing.

Just some fun before we eat dirt.

But I just kept on livin’

And they kept comin’

At first… it was a good time.

But you can only eat so many rats.

Even boozin’ got old.

I guess I lost my taste for it.

… for life.

I tried throwin’ meself off the cliff…

But no luck.

Just a long trek back up.

No good at livin’ or dyin’ it seems.

It wasn’t always like this.

I had a friend once.

A real one. Nice and quiet.

(chuckles) I thought we were gonna be best friends forever.

But… he took off.

You remind me of him actually.

Hm… you know what?

You should replace me.

Yeah, you get it.

You could be my successor.

The next Baghead.

What do you say?

Thanks, mate.

Oi, uh... listen up!

You lot don’t need me.

Not anymore.

You see… sittin’ and doin’ nothin’ ain’t enough these days. It’s gotten old—you know?

I need somethin’ more.

So, I’m passin’ on me ol’ sack…

To my finest pupil.

Someone who really knows nothin’

As for me…

Oh, huh, you’ll never see me again.

I’ll be just another face in the crowd.

Yeah, nah… nevermind.

That’ll never work.

I mean look at you.

(sniffs) Hm… smells strong

You think this is what I want?

You really don’t get it do ya?

Well, better keep lookin’ then.

You really think I want this?

Just as I thought. Nobody knows nothin’ these days.

And after all that…

This is what you bring me?

You're back and you have… nothing?

So, that’s it? You're bringing me nothing?

Your sure?

This is your final chance.

Finally! Someone who understands nothin’.

You’re smarter than ya look.

Maybe you can help me?

Well, better keep lookin’ then.

Just as I thought. Nobody knows nothin’ these days.

You really don’t get it do ya?

Well, don’t worry. You'll fit in with the others.

Now what?

Oh, you wanna bag – do ya?

You wanna be like me?

You got a lot to learn, mate.

You see… there’s an art to doin’ nothin’.

Most don’t get it.

You think you’re any different?

That’s what they all say.

But I’ll give you a chance.

A simple test.

There’s something I want...

Something special.

It ain’t hard to find.

But its… rarely enjoyed.

Bring it to me.

Oh, quite right.

See that was a trick question’.

And you nailed it.

So, here’s the real test.

There’s something I want…

Something special.

Think you can fetch it for me?

It ain’t hard to find.

But it is rare.

Bit of a riddle – ain’t it?

Go on then. Take a look around.

See what strikes you

And remember it’s gotta be special.

Not something you can find just anywhere.